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this may be it. [19 Sep 2007|05:46am]
I guess this could be my last entry. I don't know. I always liked this journal service. I don't use any other now. I don't really have anything profound, or funny, or anything of the sort to say.

What I would like, however, is some correspondence. I've created a new email address, and I'd like for any of you left to email it and tell me anything about yourself you'd like to say. I've enjoyed reading about your lives through the years, and yes indeed, I have been reading. I'm not sure, but it seems only two of you still post. I'm leaving this last entry up in the hopes that someone who does the whole random function will see it and send an email detailing their life, and anything in it they wish to.. detail.


send me a little something. tell me your side of some story. anything.
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[20 Aug 2006|10:54pm]
I said a couple of days ago that maintaining a relationship with someone was hard. It turns out I meant that maintaining a relationship with someone is impossible.

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A Collection of Assorted things [17 Aug 2006|04:40am]
I know a collection of sorted things, and I have wild guesses about an unsorted collection of nothings.

Now that that's out of the way.

Life still finds me drifting, scraping, shuffling by. Always dealing with stress without cause, always failing to achieve much of anything. Things could be worse, tho.

The ups and downs of maintaining a relationship with another human being are interesting.

The ambient music that Pandora is providing currently sounds a bit jazzy for my tastes. However, I find it hard to complain at 4:44 AM. Anything is interesting.

Has anyone else ever noticed my small teeth? I didn't know someone would notice something like that, much less find it appealing.

I believe that this will be the fourth day in a row that the sun will rise and shine upon my non-sleeping face. Truly a record of success.

I'm sure we all know that one day I'll magically wake up out of my daze with something relevant and interesting to offer the world. The only question is: Will there still be anyone around?

Update: To clarify, the music in my music/mood information entry area is by no means "too jazzy." As a matter of fact, I think it's fantastic. I was referring to the music I was listening to at the time I made that comment. That important? Yeah. I really want this Aphex Twin album. It's called "Drukqs."
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[27 May 2006|02:58am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

haven't been by in a while. how are you?

things have changed, drastically, greatly, terribly.

I don't know where this is going to end up.

any of it.

just vague enough to work? or just vague enough to fail? I need to calm the fuck down. That's tonight's message. anyone reading this who needs to calm the fuck down should do so right now. right? right. good. calm. right.


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[30 Mar 2006|10:47pm]
I know that no one's heard from me for a while, but I assure you everything is normal. and horrible. or perfect. whatever. anyway, I'm going to try to make this internet personal publishing thing I control somewhat more interesting to read by using 50% PERCENT MORE WORDS AND ALSO CAPS. actually, I'm typing this entry with my eyes closed in total silence so that hopefully something cool or interesting will fall out. I can't decide if I should go back and check the spelling or what. I guess I will. wait, now this is getting boring. well, I assume it is because I can't see it. all I am right now is thought and the impact of fingertips on keys. I learned how to type by touch in highschool, and despite the very small amount of typing I do, it's still the one and only thing useful that ever came out of the public school system. and now to the point.

i'm 23 years old now. if you really wanted to push the point, I'd have to admit that as of right now nothing I've attempted to do with my life has turned out right. at all. I have no confidence, or plan, or anything. and didn't even feel the need for things like that until just recently. I've never really had a relationship. you know, like the important kind, and I really can't say why. my sleep schedule careens wildly between 4-6 hours and 12+. I "racka" "disciprine". I have 4 tv's because it's just worked out that way. and now I need to go back and read this to see what I just typed out.

*edit* well, whatever, I've said more pointless things. I'll think this over and come back to it later. invader zim volume 2 found under the couch, fuck. ing. yes.
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[01 Jan 2006|11:12am]
My new car's engine blew up. It'll be thousands of dollars to fix. UTC said no. The job I can't get to anymore sucks. sucked?

and I'm pretty much out of ideas at this point.
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[28 Dec 2005|06:24pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I've rediscovered the random button on this foolishness-logging blogoprogram. gods, I could just sit here and do this for hours. I have, as a matter of fact. now it's all dark, and I'm all weird-mooderated, and it's quaint.

I hate that feeling that comes with a serious nap: The one where you feel like the bastard child of today and tomorrow, kinda caught in the middle, in nowhere, without any real sense of time or purpose. I suppose that eventually every waking moment begins to feel like that, and that's called aging, and we'll all do it, so that's okay.

but these random livejournals.. god, I love doing this. you never know what cool pictures or horrible stupidity you're going to find. it's almost worth learning every language in the world. or at least russian. jesus, there's a lot of red sympathizers out there wtfhax

tickling my pickle at the moment would be someone who seems to have posted their entire philosophy thesis publicly. security measures? none. wait. take that back. the text.. is black.. on black. deterring only the most lazy of plagarists and pissing off anyone who actually tries to check out their journal layout.

sec, k, we got one more thing.

the overwhelming majority of "male" users (one never knows) seem to spend huge amounts of time and effort typing out cute, funny little things to attract the interest of female users. the world changes, and the male evolves. go team. or whatever.

for those of us without anything cute or funny to say..

well, there is a time killer.

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The first in a series of interesting and practical entries! [17 Dec 2005|05:44pm]
Try this. I create an edict saying you have to.

Replace all incidents of the word "love" in your life with "magic shoes." believe me, this is going to work. "I magic shoes the hell out of violence."

see if all them magic shoes don't come back to you.

or for you.

magic shoes.

one of several interesting- and practical- ways to improve your life.

also, the word "percolate."
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[26 Nov 2005|09:42pm]
good memories, and bad memories.

today, good memories.


"... yeah, watch out, he might be going around us.. here comes killar.. oh shit! OH SHIT! GET HIM, KILLAR! GET HIM!!"

halo 2'ed.

still hearing nothing about my future. sigh.

and all those other concerns.
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[05 Nov 2005|01:52am]
psychotic british people.

so very tired of getting up at 8 in the morning to make pizza for humans.

applied at UTC, we shall see how such things go.

I'd really like to leave again, and go do something. anyone?

ugh. ups and downs, I suppose. a really substantial entry on problems, plans, and ideas coming soon.

really hoping for the best on this one.
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[23 Oct 2005|02:46pm]
wow. just, wow. if someday I'm as good at something as buckethead is at guitar... I will be supremely freaking awesome.

went to atlanta last night to the.. uh.. variety playhouse? some place, to see buckethead. amazing stuff. he only stopped rocking the guitar long enough to bust out some nunchuck skills. not kidding.

returning to atlanta to see nine inch nails again in around.. 5 days or so. am now in birmingham visiting the hurricane displaced jason.

things aren't as good as they could be, but then again, there's always the problem.
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"What were you doing in Russia?" [27 Sep 2005|08:52pm]
I dunno, what were you doing in russia?

ah, crap. I forget how to make italics. I have forgot how to internaet oh no

still planning to start making better entries, without these weird single sentence snippets of useless wordage.

to college or not to college?

seriously, I don't know.

fall is coming, and you can't stop it. time for coldness, evil, and-

wait! boardgames!

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[16 Sep 2005|11:13pm]
ugh, working at pizza hell is the suck.

still don't have the internets. not even one of them.

orange shirt fills me with rage.

fall coming.. yes.

really, updates coming. serious.

xbox 360.. no. just no.

"microtransactions"? terrorism.
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finality [01 Sep 2005|11:09pm]

so I still live, and all that that entails.

still hoping to get the internets, but, you know. poorness.

world events? fucking rough.

something, sometime, I hope.
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Beautiful beach views and NOTHING ELSE. [29 Jun 2005|01:43pm]
[ mood | raised eyebrow ]

scraping along the bottom of society, catching the little bits that fall. trying my god damndest (!) to not work at a pizza place. house is fine, but freaking hot, so hot, hot, baking, blasting, horrible. no interwaeb there as yet, but it can't be too much longer before I break. I miss the worldwide data stream and all the corpses that walk along the bottom.


I got to see nine inch nails, check that off the list, rocked, hard. exceedingly excellent, just wish I was going back tonight. that brings the number of really great bands I've seen at the tabernacle to 3, so that's a special place for me now. actually, possibly 4, the dresden dolls were kinda somewhat really good too.

let's see.

there are huge things going on.

I should have the internets (score) soon, so one might be able to expect to hear from me in the near-ish future. house? haunted.

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[03 May 2005|09:30pm]
and then I signed away the next year of my life to the walldorf property managing company. tomorrow, I shall move into a house with richie and justin that I have not yet seen. I've been told it's awesome, and when was the last time a human I know ever lied to me?

freeeeeeee loveseat is mine.

the wedding went off without a hitch, altho if that number of people are ever to stare at me again, I'd better be getting paid or getting killed. also my heart is black lol

spending my last night in knoxville. or, well, basically my last night. there's definitely a marked lack of any kind of sentiment, good or ill. you know. "well, that happened."

I'm thinking tomorrow I'll walk into the house, scream "no one understands me", and then lock myself in my room all night. hopefully, getting that stuff out of the way in the beginning will prevent such things down the road. no one will "get" it, but if they did, it wouldn't work.

viral death still crawls all up ons my computer, tho. I'm sure having 2 additional people looking at who knows what on it will only help that. take a look at my current music at the top. I hate to say it, but this is probably the best song anyone will ever make. shrug.

does anyone ever get on aim anymore? or do I just not know people? seems like I used to have a bunch of names on there, but now only have 11. some of the katamari damacy music just begs for some hard-rock-coverage. I can't remember if I said how awesome muse was or not. if I didn't, it was. rando

"Rando! It don't have to go down like this!" "Doesn't. Have to. Go down."
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[20 Apr 2005|10:49pm]
an entry about entries.

a random bit of trivia re: popes. read somewhere that there's only one more after this new one until the end of the world. which is just rumb...stiddely..dumga..stupid.. enough to be true.

so I've been hitting the random button on the livejournal for hours again. and.. I kinda got to thinking. I wonder what the last.. "blog".. entry ever to be posted will be. assuming human kind dies out at some point, or loses the interwaeb forever. I think, we all know why.

but really. gotta wonder if it would be profound, or like, you know. "OMG tammy is sUch a bich lOl and I'm listening to that new gurl 'song what's hurr namee??? lol".

I see a lot of that.

which makes me really wish I could read other languages. see a bunch of german, russian, some others I can't identify. I wonder if they talk in deplorable "netspeak" butcherings of the their own languages. one would assume that they do. like "NeInal000lzz" or something. look, I don't know.

stumbled onto a viper's nest of problem that I was not expecting. thinking of pulling my foot out.

and then, this weekend, there's richard's wedding. once.. I don't trip over myself and.. get out of that freaking suit.. all will be dandy. I wonder if I need shoes. you generally don't wear tennis shoes with a tux, right? fuu

another question. so, what are the dudes in a wedding called? the women are called bride's maids, the head dude is the best man, but what about the other guys who walk the bridesmaids (?) down the isle? are they just Those Dudes? I'm one of Those Dudes. also, being in the church part of a church for like the 4th time in my life should be weird. it's uh, nevermind.

muse was awesome. nin to follow. and when I found the settlement, I'm going to call it New Greenhill, especially if it's a barren region.
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important information follows. [22 Mar 2005|04:36pm]
something for the jhonen vasquez fans in the audience. line up and prepare for instructions.


if I were cooler and/or more caring I would link it for you, but I don't know how to with/without even 10% of my brain.


god, it linked itself! the technology is outpacing us, part 1 of the generic machine wars can't be that far off.
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[22 Mar 2005|08:28am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

another brief NIN-related update. if you wander over to nin.com, you can find a new video in the current section. it's the closest-to-the-top blurry picture thing. takes a while to load. this is my first time hearing a solid version of the new stuff, and it is reassuringly rocking. the sound is a little evolved from the old stuff. sounds a little futurey, but in a good way. the band looks like it's coming together well. looking forward to atlanta.

anyway, it kicks the unliving crap out of musicthesedays.

anyone have any music recommendations? the minibosses are warm, crusty, and satisfying, but I'd like to listen to something new. most new things suck, and not in a music hobnobbery thing. rock is passed out drunk somewhere. when it awakes, maybe it's furious hangover will provide energy for a new revival in this place. I don't think jesus is the shit.

oh, going to see muse in april. wowza. muse has my favorite bass player of all time. yet- I can't name him. that's kind of the sketch. I should probably look into that.

gonna try to return to aim. haven't been on in months. been living in exile, exile coming to end. everything with a point, but especially the unsettling stuff.

oh, and going to buy a PSP thursday. god. damn. it.

how am I ever going to be ready to get a new place come may 1 if I keep blowing my money on $243 systems and (!) 39.99-49.99 priced PORTABLE games?!

but uh made my decision after seeing some in-game of ridge racer for the psp. and I hate racing games. but, seriously, damn, ok thanks.

I think there's a jhonen vasquez interview.. thing.. coming up on the screen savers sometime soon. gonna have to check that out, altho I'm sure it will be an email or chat related thing more than a traditional interview. the vasquez is very protective of his image.

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[15 Mar 2005|09:26pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I do not particularly appreciate all four branches of the military attempting to recruit me on the same day. it's tacky. I don't know what they think I am. some kind of super soldier who can sail an aircraft carrier to the middle east, fly my own one man glider deep into enemy territory, seize several coastal cities from the inside, and then hold it for a few years and drive a humvee. (look at that sentence fragment! infinity points.) I'm not, despite the serious amount of video game training I've had doing all those things.

but on to the meat.

I'm bad at things ending. well, you know, good things ending. no matter how minor. I really just don't get that whole.. thing.

however, the end of the latest knoxville thing approaching is not something I fear. that is embraced with the embrace of a thousand razor lined leather jacket..ae.

"Well, we don't know what you're talking about, but we find it unsettling in some small way. what's the silver lining?"

the silver lining is that some day we won't have to fuck with it.

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